of blood and water

We were now on our way home and coming close to the desert, which made me a nervous wreck. As we closed on the village I flew along side Okami and asked her to stop for a moment. I transformed back to human form and stared at the village. "There is something here I need to show you.. something you need to know about me." I said to her, before setting off towards the oasis.

Blinking, I followed my Kin to the small reprieve of water that was snuggled into the crest of the desert, shielded by palms from the destroying sunlight.

I don't like the feel of this...

Mentally, my wall of certainty and calmness was shattered. It took everything I had to keep a straight face, and thus I stayed a wolf with Sansuke. Something didn't feel right, didn't feel genuine.

I walked over to two rocks which seemed to fold over each other, placing my hand on them and releasing my chakra they split apart revealing a metal staircase leading underneath the oasis.

"this is where i was born..." I said, walking down the staircase to the main room. inside where old hospital beds with straps on them and broken glass coated the floor. "This is where I became a Seishin... where they turned me into one of you..." I said, holding the edge of the bed to keep myself from crumpling.

"Wait... What?"

The hackles on my back were raised, and my nose was burning from the chemical smell. Growling, I stared around, my ears flat against my skull

"I don't understand..."

"It was here.. with needles and toxins.. that I was changed...given blood stolen from your clan. Here I was trained for one purpose, To kill and kill and KILL!" The last word is released as a scream and I throw the table into the wall where it shatters. I stagger into he corner where I collapse and hold my head shivering.

"I'm not a person, I am a creation. I am not a human, I am an animal.... " I say, repeating the words that were often directed at me during my training.

With a mental slap Taka brings me around NO, do not let them hold you..! hey screams through my mind, and at once I was clear again.

"It was Taka who freed me from their brainwashing, but something must have stuck. They wanted the power of the Seishen clan to be used for killing, and that night my claws were red. I killed the scientist and his two assistants.... then I killed the rest... the other test subjects. I couldn't control myself and..and..." I stop and point across the room to the other cells, the doors bent inward and aged blood staining the walls.

I stop talking and hugged myself muttering, "promised I'd tell you... promised.."

A growl that was not mine rippled through my throat, and one of my eyes began to glow teal. Sansuke's anger was almost palpable.

"So you're kin by creation... You've killed your own kin..."

I couldn't fight against Sansuke's movement, as he slowly paced toward Takumi, lips curling to reveal his sharp teeth.

What are you doing!?

Hopefully, freeing him.

I hold up my hand a moment and look at them with eyes of sorrow. "You think I do not live with this information at all times, that it does not keep me up at night?" I asked them. "Do you not think my madness was justified?" I ask them, i ask the both of them standing and removing my coat then lifting my shirt. "they not only put things in.. they took them out as well." I said, showing them the crisscross pattern of scars all over my abdomen. "They took there time and I was awake for most it.. the times I didn't pass out anyway..." I say, putting my shirt back on then my coat. I turn towards the stairs, "now you know and if you wanna fight let it be in the sun, not in this place" I say walking towards them, stepping around the wolf.

San pounced on him then, putting his back to the floor.

"No. You settle your problems where they began."

"you think I could hurt the two of you.....?" I ask them, before pushing him off of me and standing again. "You wish me dead, but that feeling is not given by me." I say to them, eye shaded by the lack of light. from my pockets I pulled out the two half's of the senbon and hold them up, "A promise is a promise, after all..." I say to him before sitting cross legged on the floor. "Do what you will, i will only fight back for taka sake.. it was not his fault the blood called him to me." I say, prepared to fight back against my own blood.

Inside me a war was ragging between me and taka, FLEE, RUN, do not let them kill you, it is not your fate to die like this. he yells at me over and over again. My reply is calm and measured. You should return to the ether Taka, I do not wish for you to see what happens next, it will not be kind. I say to him looking at their eyes softly.

"You take this calmer than you did before. Tell me, why were you created again?"

Sansuke's deep voice was rolling out from him, as he slowly paced.

San, stop, what are you doing! You can't kill them!

I'm not, you moron. I'm forcing them to accept their past.

"I was created expressly for the purpose of killing." I answered, almost smiling as i look at him. "Taka was boned to me for his speed and ability to fly making us perfect infiltrators." I finished before pulling out a kunai and digging it into the ground drawing. "they made us memorize concoctions and poisons, to be made on site during an assassination."

"They failed to realize they could control me forever, but not taka. When they found this out they began torturing me in the hopes he would cave, that he would give in and save me.. as he's trying to do now." I say, as taka once again tries to force the transformation. "But unlike you wolf, Taka sacrificed some of himself for me... he gave his control over me to me allowing me to be in control all the time...." I said looking at them, knowing they were lost.

"Think of it this way.. you are controlling this form, no?" I say pointing to them. "without anything from okami... Taka cannot due this, he has no control. He gave it to me.. so that I may be my own person. Without his given control i would be a machine, meant only to kill and destroy." i said, looking at the both of them. "It is why my house is in such clean order, why I am a doctor.. I try to atone for who I am.. but I try harder to make his sacrifice worth it..."

It has... always been worth it.. To save you from yourself. He said, his feelings in flux.
[i] thank you, taka, so very much for giving me a chance to live freely in the sun.

San's anger peaked, and I winced mentally.

"So, you're saying that you were a monster by force? Did you have to kill the other subjects? They were family, too!"

His voice was hurt, as he put his head to the ground, whining.

"they were barely alive...." I said looking at him, my voice becoming an even keel. "DO NOT FOR A MOMENT.... think i regret what I did.. but where do you think the replacements came from?" I asked them holding my stomach. "They tortured me and when they broke something, they harvested it from one of the others and replaced it... they were spare parts for me to be efficient and alive. Killing them quickly was the greatest kindness I have ever given. If i did not they would have died here alone and forgotten, slowly." I say, finally having enough of this act. "if you wanted me dead you would have killed me by now wolf.... I'm going back to the light, I'll wait for you up there." and without waiting for a response I walked up the stairs, not looking back.

San pushed it, as he ran up, grabbing Takumi by the neck and forcing him down on the stairs. His growl ripped out, a large warning that sent the desert life outside skittering away. Afraid myself, I began to fight him for control, but I was repelled forcefully. Picking up Takumi by his shirt, San drug him into one of the far rooms, next to a rotted corpse.

"What happened to being a medical ninja? To HELP those who were dying?"

San threw him next to the body, growling before kicking the door shut.

"To saving lives, giving them freedom?"

"I WASN'T A DOCTOR I WAS FIVE!!!!" I yell at him before punching him in the side of the head. I here their body hit the wall and back off, pushing myself against the cabinet.

"no..no..no.. I'm sorry I'm..." I begin to rock back and forth as taka's voice becomes distant... "run... run.. i'm loosing.. loosing.... control.." I say, placing my head between my knees and rocking back and forth mumbling to myself over and over.. "I'm not a human, I'm an animal. I'm not alive, I am a machine..." over and over.

And now.. I use you, Lucine.

What are you ta-

"Takumi... How could you..."

Shock filtered through me as Sansuke spoke with my voice, standing up with a slight wobble.

You bastard.. haven't you done enough?!

Staring at Takumi, San shook his head.

"How could you..."

I looked up, only it wasn't me... "Wolf, hunter, pack animal, alone.. threat minimal... kill...... yes." I say standing and pulling out a kunai walking towards it. inside somewhere Taka was throwing his essence out.

THE CONTROL IS GONE HE'S NOT HIMSELF... RUN FOR GOD'S SAKE RUN! he yells hoping they will hear him and do so.

"be quite little wolf, for I hunt tonight.. more to kill.. more to kill..." I whisper, taking another step. As I stand they are near the door, if they bolt they may leave, if they attack... they will die.

Sansuke was patiently waiting, biding his time as I stared at them in fear. I wanted to move, but Sansuke stood firm.

"I don't understand... I thought you were going to protect me!..."

Surprise filtered through me as I realized that my voice had finally gone through.

I stopped.... starring, "that voice...okami....threat..none...family" I whispered and sat down, my mind a slurry of words and thoughts and that is when Taka approached.

Hello, my name is Taka, do you remember me? he asked me, as if a parent when there child bumps their head and feigns amnesia.
Taka...I remember.. this place it's all so fuzzy...I.. the words were disjointed but becoming clearer, my mind started putting two and two together.

"I'm.....I'm..." I said looking at the both them before getting on my knees, walking crawling towards them.

I backed slowly from him, forcing Sansuke out. I was surpised when there was no resistance. My ears were flat against my skull, and my tail was tucked under me as I held my head closer to the ground.

"I'm... sorry, I've failed you.." It finally cam out as I collapse against them. Taka had used what little influence he had to put me under, this would allow me to wake as I was. for now I lay in blissful slumber unaware of what lay around me.

Taka spoke now, from within me... Finally, took quite a while to calm him down... what were to two of you thinking I told you to run... he could have killed you if it weren't for the fact he's so scarred of loosing you. he said, appearing as a ghostly falcon, perched on my slumped form.

Sansuke's eyes peaked toward Taka, as he chuckled.

"What were we thinking? Did he not realize who we were in time? And, is he not a little more free than before?"

He slowly paced toward Takumi wiggling under him until he was on our backs, dropped over like a sack of potatoes.

"The entire point was to get him to realize what he did, connect that he was too young to have stopped it, come to association with it, then realize that Lucine doesn't actually have anything against what he did. Just against what he's letting it do to him."

San opened the door with our paw, enlarging himself as he got to the space.

"Besides. Did it not work?"

He has none what he did from the start, I did not let him forget. Why do you think he became a doctor, learned medical-nin. No what you did today, Sansuke, was wrong; and don't think I know that was you and not her, Takumi may not know the difference but I sensed it. You broke his fragile balance, He was just starting to open up to the two of you... and this is the way you treated him. He has never had family before, and you treated him like a monster... Taka was angry with them, and maybe rightly so. I didn't hear of the conversation till after I woke.

He was just a child when all of this happened, and what they did to him... his expression turned sad as did his voice. It took me nearly ten years to get him to trust anyone Sansuke... do you think he'll even wish to speak with her now? You may have ruined everything, you stupid mutt! He was yelling, he never yelled at anyone. And with a slight flash of annoyance he was gone, back inside of me.

"He's a packmate. He doesn't have to trust us... Even if he's scarred from what happened today, he learned something about himself. Sunaga was a place of mourning for him. A place of hurt and betrayal. Playing through the memory may have affected him poorly, but it also might have helped. We won't know until he-"

Stop it.

Forcing my thoughts to be heard aloud, I withheld my anger at my partner to a mere degree, trying not to cry.

I know you were helping, but you didn't have a right.. He was terrified... hurt.... And now, he may never be whole again. Don't you see what you really did? You treated him like you would have treated me. Not like you should have treated him. What he needed was acceptance, someone who would hug him tight, and let him cry while saying it was going to be okay. He needed family...

"I'd like to point out...this is a most uncomfortable ride...." I said, sliding off into the sand and leaning against them. I could tell that tension hung in the air like a fresh sent. "Did I miss something, all I can remember is going down into the lab, then it all get's fuzzy...." I said, looking into their eyes.

"Something happened down there, what?" I said, knowing from the look in their eyes...